Legacy

I've been thinking of my mommy a ton this past week. Mostly about how much I miss her but also trying to think of what kind of a legacy she left me. It's been three years since she passed away and I still have a hard time keeping myself together when I think of her. Her birthday is May 1st and She passed away on May 8th and we had her funeral on Mother's Day weekend so really it is like a whole week of memories for me. Oh, how I love her.


She was a pioneer woman to me. She joined the church( LDS ) in her teen years after losing her father at a young age. She married very young as well and set out to start a family like no other. I think it must have been a struggle to try and raise a family in the church when she wasn't raised in it herself. As any mother does, she made mistakes but now its seems all I can remember are the good things. Even though she had tough times she remained faithful. In fact her faith was simple but it endured. I remember asking her when I was really young if the church really was true and also asking what if it wasn't? She simply said that she believed it was true because it felt right and if someday she learned that it wasn't it simply wouldn't matter because at least she spent her time doing good. Her simple faith in Jesus Christ is what got her through the hard times, I am sure. She demonstrated her faith through countless prayers on behalf of her children and loved ones. She loved us kids tremendously and wanted good things for all of us.

My mom made everything fun and beautiful. This is her legacy. She was always trying to find a way to make things fun. She created traditions and memories for our family that left an enormous impact on many. My favorite memories are surprise birthday parties, lots and lots of road trips, Monster Dance( you'd just have to see it and be a pre teen girl to enjoy it), heart attacking neighbors, she would yell out "Make it Pretty Girls" at our Dance competitions. This is how we would know she was there supporting us and she was not embarrassed to to stand up in the audience and make hand signals in the air so that we could see where she was(we would make them back in the same order so that she would know that we saw her too), she would stay up late and make pancakes for my friends after church dances so that we could hang out and watch Saturday Night Live. Christmas Jammies of course, late nights playing all kinds of games(really really late nights), we just got a wii this year and the first time I played it I just kept telling myself "Mom would have loved this", She taught my kids the family secret handshake which is 3 squeezes of the hand that stand for I--Love--You, whenever I hold my kids hands they do this and I do it back, it can go on and on for a very long time, I can remember as a little girl my mom doing this with me at bedtime until I would fall asleep. She was very spontaneous and surprised us all the time, once she pulled my sister and I out of school unexpectedly and took us to Disneyland. Who does this? My Mom and now me. There are so many things that she did for us that now I am trying to recreate with my kids. As I grew up and had my kids she was always there for us. She stayed with us for several weeks to help out after I had my babies, she even potty trained a couple of them for me. We would go to Walmart for craft supplies at midnight in our PJ'S so that we could finish a project I will never forget that she would call and make me put the telephone up to my little babies ears so that she could talk to them. She would say that she didn't want them to forget her voice. My kids remember how everytime she came to visit she brought gifts. What they don't know is that this was a bribe of some sort for the little ones who might not remember her after being away and that was how she got them to warm back up to her. I could go on and on but the main point is that I am finding that I am more like her than I thought. Moms have a way of leaving a bit of themselves behind. All these memories and traditions are things that I am doing with my kids in my own way. I miss her terribly and find my self at times wishing I could give her a call when I need and Idea for a primary sharing time or talk. Primary was her thing for sure. She always went all out and had the best ideas for these kids. Sometimes there will be a name of a person or a place that only she would know and I'll wish that I could call her and ask. It can be so hard sometimes but I do know that she is with me in memories and that I could just look within and find her there because she left such an impression on me. Moms are amazing that way. I know mine is anyway.